2 facilitators. The female facilitator is my favorite. She is a life coach to whom I was referred and she speaks with clarity to me. The male facilitator, we'll call him Stuart does not resonate as well with me. But that's just my initial impression - his sense of humor has poked out so there is hope. Anyway, it is supposed to be a holistic approach to help me figure out what the hell to do next.What I am supposed to be doing now, is just allowing everything to be as it is. I am supposed to sit with my feelings and not analyze them in any way or fight against them or have any thought about them at all really. "it’s like sitting on a bench with a good friend who is feeling deep emotional pain—let’s say grief. You sit with her in silence, just being with her, not trying to fix her or impede her grieving process by stopping her tears. So in being with what is, you allow yourself the space to feel the emotions and observe the thoughts. Many feelings and thoughts will dissolve in this manner, although some will take longer than others. Some thoughts and feelings will remain persistent and those will require inquiry, which we’ll explore in a few weeks."
Does that sound easy to you? Try it. It is incredibly difficult for a cerebral person to just sit there and allow things to flow through without any analysis, any defense mechanisms, any questioning... just sit with it. It's a pisser. I suck at this game.
I'm still not sure what I think of the whole thing. It is a little bit cosmic touchy feely, which kind of makes me want to slap someone. We keep an online journal and someone wrote back to me "I hear you." I pretty much wrote back and said "Bullshit." Hey, it started a discussion. :-P
But it is a different approach to things, and I am willing to give it a shot. The women in the group are all very interesting. I'll let you know if I figure out the secrets of the universe or anything.
Good luck Mel. It is tough, and I don't know anyone who can really understand how you are feeling except you. Feeling similar perhaps, being a "cognitive-feeler" is difficult to explain to others. You can do it, I believe in YOU!!
ReplyDeleteok i understand allowing someone to help....but are you seriously seeking out someone to tell you what is next? are you now so deeply involved with dogs that your attempting to let someone rule you as humans rule dogs?
ReplyDeletefor fucks sake, just do you as only you can. thats all anyone can ask.
guess what....i know the secret to life.
guess what else....so does everyone else in the world, they just dont realize they know.
the secret is....life is as hard and confusing as you make it. shit happens. not to you it just happens. whether it got the ok from the worlds life coaches or not, it was going to happen. some of us dont care at all...some of us care alot. some of us get sad for no real apparent reason. know what? no one cares. the god damn life coach doesnt care about it. dont let them fool you. its about money and self absorbity. " im a good person and can sleep because i helped someone else figure it out" mean while they dont have a fucking clue.
do me a favor. since your gonna listen to these people try this first.
take a deep breath...shit take 2 or three.
clear your head for 30 seconds as best you can.
then let all your bullshit flood in at once.
and as it all gets in there take one last deep breath and say out loud. FUCK IT!....
laugh as you might but youd be suprised how much this helps. then go on about your day makin you happy. simple as that.
all i got.
Thanks E!
ReplyDeleteJim, get a grip.
Hmm... interesting group you've joined. I have some of the same issue with "now what?". Sadly, I've been in this holding pattern for a little over three years. It was a traumatic experience that happened to me and I can't seem to find a way past it's veil. Might have to search out a similar group where I live. Thanks for the post, Melanie. Very smart of you to take action, even if small steps, you are still moving forward.
ReplyDelete