Monday, July 20, 2009

Cheetah big news

I have some news that is probably going to disappoint some of you, because I know many hoped I would keep Cheetah. I wanted to wait to tell you until I was pretty certain, since we have had disappointments in the past. I think I have found a great home for Cheetah.



All of the pictures in this post were taken by her prospective adopter ("PA") this weekend when we met at the dog park.

Let me start by telling you that I came as close as you can come to keeping her. Mr. PM and I had some - let's call them "lively" discussions about it. He strongly felt that Cheetah was not a good fit for us, but he relented if it would make me happy. I was all set to plow through with that. But I also did not feel right about bringing another individual into our home permanently if he was not really on board with the idea. That didn't seem fair to anyone involved. I also felt the annoying grain of truth behind his viewpoint (which pissed me off for the record). In the mean time I got an application on Cheetah, and thought "this person had better blow my socks off or there is no way I will even consider this."

Then I had the week to myself while Mr. PM went to a conference for work and I had some time alone with the animals and my thoughts. I really observed the dynamics of what was going on, trying to remove the rose colored glasses. Here are some of the things I realized.
  1. My elderly cat is still stuck in the basement. The only time she comes out is when the dogs go outside. The last time she came upstairs, I picked her up and she hissed at me, because she felt trapped and was afraid the dog would come back. Cheetah now often accompanies me into the basement, and when that happens, Lexy is stuck not only downstairs, but trapped in a room with the door closed so that Cheetah doesn't chase her. If I leave Cheetah upstairs, she cries because she can't be with me. It is a no win situation.
  2. Swiffer is still terrified. Yes, she fights back, but all of her body language still indicates fear. I am worried that she is going to start developing permanent issues out of her nervousness.
  3. The thing about Mr. PM I already mentioned.
  4. We are planning to have a baby. I am not known for my stamina, but I am known for going whole hog and getting completely focused on one person or thing. Cheetah, while a completely different dog than even a month ago, still requires my constant vigilance to control her environment. She is a sensitive, high energy dog and will always require a lot of me, no matter how good she is. I know myself well enough to know that my energy level does not match hers, and I am likely to fail her as my focus in the house changes. I am already failing Swiffer and Lexy due to my focus on Cheetah. I can't take the guilt.
  5. Rescue Angels knows that if I adopt Cheetah I was likely to be less available as a volunteer to foster - if I tried to adopt her they were gonna put up a fight (I would've won, but still...)
  6. I found someone who will love her the way she deserves to be loved if it can't be me.
Make no mistake, this was an excruciatingly painful decision for me. When I came to the realization that this was probably going to be a good home for her, I sobbed for two days, and Cheetah became very difficult to deal with. But as soon as I found my peace with it, she became an angel again. Quite amazing how sensitive she is.

So let me tell you a little bit about this family. It is a single mom with a daughter. The mom (who we are calling PA) lived with her mother (we'll call her grandma) as she raised 2 Aussies. So PA knows and understands the breed. We had some extensive back and forth on email, and I am convinced she believes in the same basic principles that I do as far as training goes: that being primarily positive reinforcement, with consistent, firm but gentle limits.

I am also quite confident that Cheetah would hold a place of priority in the family of which I approve. I think I really knew this was the one when PA asked me how Cheetah reacts to cleaning people. I told her, well, Cheetah tries to make the cleaning people believe that she is going to eat them. PA responded: OK - I don't like my cleaning person that much anyway, I can do without her. Now, I do not expect PA to entirely rearrange her life around Cheetah. But the fact that her knee jerk response would be to do so makes me happy. That was the night I sobbed myself to sleep, and Cheetah slept in the bed with me. :-D

I met PA, daughter and grandma this weekend. PA plans to tell her daughter about the fact that they are getting a dog this coming weekend for her birthday, so we were discussing Cheetah as if they were investigating her for a friend to see how they would get along. PA was already enchanted with Cheetah from her pictures and videos (yes, that is one of the reasons I took more videos last week) and she fell even more in love while interacting with her at the dog park. We spent over 2 hours together and my gut tells me this is a good move. This is not because I feel pressured to adopt her out (which I sort of felt last time). This is me coming from the perspective that I will keep her for better or for worse if I do not find the right fit for her. But I believe I have.

Things I like: (I couldn't possibly list them all but here are a few)
  • Daughter clearly loves dogs and is used to being around them. Cheetah is no longer reactive to children (daughter is under 10) and did not mind when she started scampering around. I see potential for a really neat relationship there.
  • PA knows Aussies and has realistic expectations about the breed and about Cheetah.
  • PA has a bigger back yard than I envisioned when she told me about her house.
  • Grandma has SIX (6) dogs, 2 of which are Aussies, so Cheetah will have lots of doggy friends and stimulation.
  • Grandma has 5 acres, many of which are fenced, and PA and daughter spend a lot of time at Grandma's.
  • Cheetah will be the center of the universe (only dog) for at least a few years, but she will also have a very social doggy pack to play with and lots of room to run around.
  • PA has access to 2 dog parks near by.
  • I have told PA about every conceivable skeleton in Cheetah's closet. Every behavior issue, all the training I have done, her chance of backsliding a little when she leaves me... everything I could think of. To be honest I kinda thought at first it might drive her away. When it didn't, it convinced me even further that she was going to take on Cheetah in a loving and realistic manner.
  • It also made it much easier for me to even consider all of this when PA told me she would keep me updated with whatever I needed: pictures, videos, updates, and even visits once Cheetah is bonded and settled in. So I don't feel quite like I am losing her the way I would if she was just being adopted and spirited away, never to be heard from again.
  • I just plain old like PA.

Cheetah came to me at a time in my life when I needed her as much as she needed me. She will always be incredibly special to me, and I got her a little medal that says "I saved a human" on it that she will take with her. She really helped me through a difficult time in my life, both by gifting me with the chance to help her whelp and by just being her. I am not sure yet the exact date of her departure. After PA tells her daughter this weekend, Cheetah and I will have a house visit and see how she does. I will go on gut feeling how many times she should see them before she leaves for good, but I am guessing probably Aug 1 or the following Saturday depending on what works best for everyone. I want to do a Saturday so that I am not fighting rush hour traffic (and thus stressing Cheetah out with my own stress) but yet give her as much of the weekend as possible with PA and daughter. PA is also going to try to take a Monday off or work from home so Cheetah can get settled in.

I feel like PA came to me just at the critical moment when I was thinking of keeping Cheetah. I'll be honest, I am not very faithful when it comes to church, god, etc. But it does seem to me like things do work out the way they are supposed to, due to more than just mere coincidence. We'll call it the Universe. They appeared just when I was sure I would keep Cheetah, but something in the back of my mind was telling me it was not exactly the right thing to do. This feels right.

Oh and I am told that Cheetah can attend the litter reunion in April!! :-) :-)


7 comments:

  1. I share your mixed feelings, but I'm so hopeful and happy for Cheetah to get a real forever home! I'm sure Lexy and Swiffer will be happier too. I'm keeping you all in my t's and p's that it all works out the way it should. PA sounds like a real soul mate for Cheetah, and a friend for you! oooh can't wait for the reunion! what fun that will be!

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  2. i knew that once you had the chance to think about things on your own you would exhaust all your options and find the one true right choice.

    no matter how hard that may be. not like youll never see her again either. so nicely done.

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  3. This is wonderful news and unlike your impulsive mama, you have completely thought this through. I hope that you will continue to be at peace with this decision and as you know, I will be behind you no matter what! Good job.

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  4. I have known PA, her daughter and entire family for the past 6 and 1/2 years. I am a recently retired special education teacher from PA (Pennsylvania). I can tell you, unequivocally, that you could not choose better owners for your Cheetah.

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  5. Thanks Judy!! You should be a reference! :-)

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  6. I waited a whole week to dare look and see how it went! I am SO pleased that it worked out on Saturday. It was lovely to see you guys and am delighted I got chance to play with Cheetah - even if it was kinda odd she didn't know who I was :)
    kate x

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  7. Oh, Melanie!
    Wish I had another gift basket to give you! There is a special crown waiting for you! NeNe

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